Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Picking on Ryan again

I finally decided to join the bandwagon and get a twitter account and see what everybody is up to. It's been pretty amusing and every once in a while you see something that's pretty good. Last post I had a picture of Ryan Knapp crashing in the sand and through twitter I came across this web site. Mathgeek thought it was pretty amusing but beware, it's a little bit beyond PG.


Listen. We need to talk. We’ve been having some second thoughts. Surely you, too, are familiar with that feeling. It occurs immediately after receiving confirmation that someone’s read something you’ve written about them. You see, we generally write under the assumption that the Dudes we write about will never read it, and we never gave even half a thought to the idea that we’d ever meet the Dudes. But then we wrote the CX season kickoff post and every Dude we wrote about read it, which was fine. But then we found out that we were traveling to the USGP CX Planet Bike Cup in Madison, and it felt exactly like the second you’re forced to inhale ocean water because you know you won’t make it to the surface to breathe in time.

But as we all know, there’s no way to say “I want to un-fuck you,” so after we’d arrived and stopped hiding behind our friends, we faked a bit of bravado. Jeremy Powers bashfully called “Hello!” to us before we recognized him. Ryan Trebon looked up to see us perched on a picnic table behind the actual press during the post-podium presser, broke into a grin, waved, and afterwards gave us a hug that lasted just a bit too long. And much to our surprise, the world kept right on spinning as the first day of racing ended. Relieved, we returned to BDIPC’s Madison HQ to find a message from one Ryan Knapp. It read: “I tried to shoot a wink to [BDIPC] as I took a dollar handup from her today. Hope she got it.” Hands clapped over mouths. Giggle. Who is this Dude and how does he know who we are? Google. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ryan Knapp:

We fucking know, right?!

So on day two, we told him where we’d be. We sloshed through the mud, glancing sidelong into other Dudes’ faces in the hope that it would be him. Nothing. Just as we were about to give up hope, our most trusted advisor approached, pointed, and said, “There.” And there he was. He looked up, saw us, smiled, and called out, “I looked for you! I couldn’t find you.” Cheek kiss, small talk. Good luck! We walked away to shiver and cowbell our way through the race, and when it was over we ambled toward the line and looked for familiar faces. And there he was again, laughing as he was being sprayed down. He came to us and we walked together as he told us how the mechanic said “Don’t forget ze veenar!” which incidentally appeared to be the only area on his body that wasn’t covered in mud. We successfully suppressed the urge to shout, “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to right now? Ve vould nevar forget ze veenar!”

Then there were goodbyes to be said and hands to be shaken, hugs to give and photos to pose for. And when it was all said and done, the only thing there was time for was goodbye. So, Ryan, listen. The next time we’re farewelling in the middle of a parking lot and you hold onto us for so long that there’s time enough to open our eyes and peek over your shoulder to see your teammates gaping open-mouthed at us, know that you have two choices. We can either go somewhere we can be alone or we’re going to give those poor, jealous teammates of yours something worthwhile to stare at. Because forget about forgetting about it, ve can’t stop thinking about it.

What a stud........

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